Better left unsaid, but where’s the fun in that?

I am home. Not really, because Seattle is home in my bones. But, for now, in this moment, I am home. Three months is a long time to go feeling like you’re not really ‘home,’ ever. [Does that mean I’ve been in Santiago for three months? Is that true?? Goodness; it is.] But now, and until I leave on the twenti-glorious-th of Diciembre, I am interim-home.


(This is my view from my new apartment. The hill in the background is Cerro San Cristobal, the biggest hill in the city. They have gondolas on top. ... It's on my to-do list.)



(And this is my view from the door... The apartment is furnished [obvio], which is nice.)
But what I miss the most are these folks...

And this...

(This is the room I just moved out of.)

I don’t hate Santiago. I am not miserable. I do miss Seattle, but I would be miserable, and dreaming of Santiago, if I were there right now. I have this stubborn independent streak that leads me thrills me wears me out.

Does everything always keep on changing? [It better.] Is this the fault of my own fickleness? [Yes.] Or I am just a unique scientific specimen? [If you see, in the “Science” section of the newspaper, “Girl Endures Second Puberty,” read it, because it’s about me.]

Okay, I know it’s natural. But it’s awkward as ass. I don’t mean the change—I enjoy options and a bit of varity. But not knowing what I want, not knowing where I want to be, not knowing who I want to be, not knowing who I want to be with, or if any of that even matters… Awkward. Exhausting. Thrilling. Back to awkward.

Whoa, Sara. Relax.

Okay.

But how? If I don’t think about these things, I get bored. If I think about them, I get overwhelmed.

I think any sustainable design for my life will have to include a lot of reading, a bit of writing, and a heap of photograph taking (with some amount of camera borrowing). As well as a healthy dose of Chilean wine. And a handful of southern exploration.

It’s probably a good thing I’m living alone. All these thoughts take up a lot of space.