What do all these things have in common?

I have a lot on my mind.

I found myself creating this list while I awaited absentee students this evening. Suddenly I realized that I might make a prime candidate for admittance to a mental ward somewhere and that mozzarella and panchromatic emulsions probably never belong in the same list. In the end, it doesn't have to make sensitometrics; these are just the thoughts that I've been bearing in mind all day, and I needed to write them down before I moved on to the next topic of interest.


Next topic of interest: Everybody [overstatement, for effect only] warns me to be careful about everybody else. You can't trust anybody. Naturally. And the people who tell me this, I've come to trust the least.

I ventured to the Persa Bío-Bío (flea) market last weekend. I knew, before I decided to go solo, that I would be setting the scene for devious acts of thievery, for tricksters to take advantage of the unassuming gringa. Of course. It goes without saying. But the thing is, I know I'm a gringa. I know they know I'm a gringa. But do they know that I know that they know that I'm a gringa? I don't know. It doesn't matter.

The point is--people in barrio alto (i.e. the so-called "better" parts of town), thinking they are doing me a service, warn me that I have to be veeeeery careful: People will try to trick me and take advantage of me, because I'm a gringa. [Andbecauseeveryonewhodoesn'tliveinthebarrioaltoisinherentlynefarious. Thegoodpeople,thegod-blessedpeople,liveinthe nicepartsoftown. Obviously. Excuseme.Ineedtothrowup.] But then I go into these dangerous parts of town, and those tricksters and those thieves, they look at me with serious concern and tell me to be careful, to come back with an interpreter or a friend, that those tricksters and thieves are going to trick me and thieve ... thieve what? My cien pesos? My Flannery O'Conner anthology? I would be sad, for a minute.

I know I'm a gringa. I know I'm a target. But, so far, I've been targeted only to be asked for directions to streets I've never heard of and to receive unsolicited advice about who to beware.

My friends, you're all very paranoid. And it's a good thing someone is, because they are all thieves and tricksters out there. And they're gonna get you.